The Sexy Transformation
by Darkly Dreaming
Summary: Previously "Sexification." Penny takes the boys shopping, does their hair, and takes them to a club. Merriment is had by all, but mostly Sheldon and Penny. Shenny, Howadette, Raj/OC, Leondard/OC. Rated T safety. COMPLETE.
1. Chapter 1

Penny, sick and tired of waitressing, had been going to auditions relentlessly. It didn't matter what it was for; tv shows, movies, commercials, anything. She had been reading self-confidence books, which helped her attitude immensely.

And it finally paid off. She had gotten a Crest commercial and a decent part as the girlfriend of a murderer in NCIS: Los Angeles. She even got Chris O'Donnell's autograph!

As a result of her good luck she was able to pay her bills on time and even get her car fixed, much to Sheldon's delight. Penny had enough money left over to even go on a shopping spree.

When everyone was assembled at 4A, Penny dropped the bomb.

"So, since I've got these acting jobs I've actually been paid good money. And I've decided to take you all shopping!" Penny grinned. When all she got in return were blank stares, she asked "What?"

Sheldon was, of course, the first to speak up. "Why?"

"Oh, come on! It'll be fun!" she pleaded. "I'll buy each of you one outfit. If you don't like it you never have to wear it again. I promise."

Howard, thinking of surprising Bernie, pondered it. "Would this be like an entire makeover or just the clothes? 'Cause I think Bernie likes the way I look." Penny had to admit he was a little adorable when he talked about Bernadette, but Howard can _always_ be improved. "Howard, trust me. She won't complain. But as long as we're at it, I have got to do something with your hair. You look like the fifth Beatle."

"While I agree that Wolowitz could use a little less color and Koothrapali could lose the sweater vests, my wardrobe is perfectly fine as is," Sheldon interjected.

Raj looked at Sheldon's plaid pants and whispered into Howard's ear. "Raj said, and I agree, we'll go if only to see you get Sheldon into something other than plaid pants."

Sheldon looked offended. "Now see here. There is nothing wrong with my pants."

Penny looked him straight in the eye and said, "Sweetie, _everything_ is wrong with your pants. You're going. You only have to wear the outfit once - NOT counting the time you try them on." She pointed at Sheldon. "You're not getting out of this. Let me go get my keys, we can go now."

Raj and Howard rode together, as they are wont to do, and Leonard and Sheldon rode with Penny. They arrived at the mall and followed Penny to a store none of them had ever stepped foot in.

Leonard, Howard, and Raj were fairly quiet, not complaining much. Howard lamented the loss of his Dickes and Raj didn't feel comfortable without his sweatervest, but Leonard was practically a makeover artists dream. He left every choice to Penny, knowing it was futile to argue.

Penny decided that Leonard's color was blue. He got a light blue shirt, a dark tealish jacket and a skinny green tie to make it pop. Plain black slacks and some square sunglasses finished the outfit.

Raj needed more neutral colors; greys and blacks. Dark gray slacks, a white shirt with thin gray stripes, and a gray and navy striped tie. A light gray vest made him feel a little better, and a black fedora made him a little bit more mysterious.

Howard. It was a little hard finding slacks short enough for him, but Penny found a pair of pinstripes she could easily hem that would even make him look a little taller. A plain white button up and a matching jacket completed the clothes.

"Ok, Howard," Penny said. "You have the clothes now. When we all go out I'll do your hair, because while you look better, I will not be seen with you in a public place again with that hairstyle."

After Penny walked out of ear shot, Raj spoke up. "You've got to admit. We look awesome. And I still get a vest!"

Penny came back after a while with a pair of black jeans, a very light gray tee shirt, a grayish-purple long sleeved V-neck with four snaps, and a black pleather jacket.

"Ok, Sheldon, I already know your sizes, so put these on just to make sure I got them right. Wouldn't want to buy something without making absolutely sure, now would we?"

Sheldon still insisted there was nothing wrong with his wardrobe. "Penny-"

"Sheldon, put the clothes on or I will drag you into the fitting room and dress you myself."

He scowled and grumbled, but complied.

Leonard was a little confused by this. "Why do you know his sizes?"

"I took him shopping for that suit he wore to the Chancellor's thing."

"Yeah, but that was once, and like, 2 years ago."

Penny didn't get a chance to reply, because Sheldon shouted from his dressing room. "Penny I look like a clown. I will not wear this out in public. In fact, I will not even come out of the dressing room."

Apparently Penny didn't like this reaction, because she stalked off to the room he was in. The guys ran closer so they could hear, but they still couldn't see.

"Sheldon, open the door."

"No."

"I will craw under the door, Sheldon. Don't think I won't."

A loud sigh. "Fine. But I look ridiculous." The sound of a door opening.

Silence.

A little too long for Leonard's liking.

"Guys, are we good?"

Penny was fixing Sheldon's jacket collar and muttering about stubborn geniuses. Sheldon looked normal. Not Sheldon-normal, but actually normal normal. Like one of the cool guys that always mocked them. Leonard, Howard, and Raj looked like geeks-turned-successful, but Sheldon...looked like he had always belonged in the cool crowd. It was freaking them out.

Penny unsnapped the four buttons Sheldon had done up and said, "Sheldon, you look great. Stop complaining. You're wearing it tomorrow and after that you never have to wear it again. I promise."

As they left the room so Sheldon could change again, Raj noticed a slight sheen to Sheldon's lips and a lock of hair in the back stuck up just a bit.

* * *

A/N: May or may not turn into a two-shot. Depends on my schedule. And the demand (reviews).


	2. Bonus scene

A/N: Y'all wanted to know what happened behind door number 1, so here it is. ;)

This is not chapter 2, this is a 'deleted scene,' if you will, from chapter 1. Chapter 2 will come soon enough.

* * *

"Sheldon, open the door."

"No."

"I will craw under the door, Sheldon. Don't think I won't."

Sheldon sighed loudly. "Fine. But I look ridiculous." He opened the door and Penny was speechless. He looked...delectable. Sheldon shifted his weight uncomfortably and licked his lips, drawing Penny's gaze. The jeans and jacket were doing things to her and the slight glistening of saliva on his lips wasn't helping at all.

So she did the only thing she could think of - the thing she'd wanted to do last time they went shopping. She grabbed the collar of his jacket and kissed him. Hard.

Hearing footsteps, she pulled away and fixed the collar she had messed up.

"Sheldon, you look great. Stop complaining. You're wearing it tomorrow and after that you never have to wear it again. I promise." Penny made sure none of the others could see her face and she smirked and winked at him.

He stood there a moment after they left processing what just happened. It was a miracle he hadn't reacted negatively; that would've been disastrous.

He now understood the term "butterflies in one's stomach." Licking his lips again he could taste Penny's lipgloss and vaguely wondered if she started wearing cherry just for him, but dismissed the thought as irrelevant.


	3. Chapter 2

A/N: Here it is! Longer than I anticipated, but also better! Gotta love a Sheldon that dances. I do not like the song in this chapter, but we're playing it in marching band and I thought it fit, so...yeah.

Tell me if I missed anything!

* * *

The next day everyone sat in the living room of 4A while Penny did Howard's hair in the bathroom. She had brought so many hair products she'd needed two trips. Much complaining on Howard's part and lots of 'shut ups' on Penny's, and one "Well if you would just let me cut it this would be a lot easier!"

After thirty minutes the occupants of the living room stopped listening and started a game of Jenga.

An hour and a half later Penny emerged from the bathroom looking annoyed but accomplished.

"Bernadette. I don't care how you do it. But get that boy a haircut."

Howard walked out of the bathroom oozing self confidence and what Penny was sure he'd call swag, but was really just awkward sexual inuendo. Awkward for everyone else, that is. Penny had moussed his hair within an inch of its life, slicking most of it back but leaving a bit of the front swept to the side, much like when he dressed goth. Coupled with the pinstripe suit, it made him look more normal than anyone thought he could.

"Wow, Howie!" Bernadette exclaimed. "You look hot!"

Howard gave her his 'come hither' look that always freaked everyone else out. "You bet your cute tush I do."

Penny butted in before they could get into it. "Save it for the bedroom, you two." She turned to Sheldon and made to grab his arm. "Your turn, Sheldon."

Sheldon shied away from her. "My turn?! My turn for what? You've dressed me up like your own personal Ken doll and you're taking me to what could only be described as an epiliptic's nightmare. What more could you possibly want from me?"

"Your hair," she said. "Not as bad as Howard's, but we can do something with it."

Sheldon looked scandalized. "Penny, there is absoutely nothing wrong with my hair. Not a one is out of place."

Penny smiled and said "That's the point, Sweetie. You're going to a club, you're not supposed to look immaculate. We'll just mousse it up a little and you can wash it all out when we get home." At his affronted look she added "We'll only be there for a couple of hours, Sheldon. Come on." She ushered him into the bathroom.

"Now sit down and shut up." The bathroom door closed.

"Ok, Sweetie, I'm just gonna wet your hair down with a spray bottle and put a little mousse in it."

Sheldon still grumbled. "I don't see why I have to do this. It's not even Anything Can Happen Thursday. It's Wednesday. Comic Book Night."

Penny rolled her eyes, but didn't stop running her fingers through his hair. "Yes, and you went to the comic book store today. Now you can go to Blush with us. Think of it as...blending in and observing the social interactions of lesser beings. Like how Amy studies monkeys."

"But Amy doesn't dress like a monkey."

"No, but she isn't observing them in their natural habitat, either." She put the finishing touch on his hair and stepped back.

"Point taken," he nodded. "Alright. Continue."

She smiled. "We're done, Sweetie. You can look in the mirror now."

Sheldon stood behind Penny as she washed the product off her hands. "Penny, I look like a miscreant. What would my mother say if she saw me now?"

"She would praise Jesus that her son finally looked like a normal human being." She dried her hands using one of the disposable hand towels they had and turned around. Sheldon was closer than she thought. She could smell him. He smelled clean, like he'd just showered and laundered. Which, of course, he had. She could also feel his body heat and it was warming her in a familiar way, but not one she had ever gotten from Sheldon. She unconsciously leaned a few inches toward him and her eyes fluttered up to meet his.

Sheldon noticed everything. How Penny stopped thinking when she turned around. How she inhaled his scent. How she leaned closer to him. Their eyes locked and he could tell she wanted to kiss him. Her pupils were dilated and her breathing was shallow. Sheldon's mind raced. That was saying a lot, since his mind never stopped. He leaned closer, hesitated, whispered "Are you wearing cherry lipgloss just for me?"

The question caught Penny off guard and she answered truthfully. "Yes."

Satisfied with her answer, Sheldon softly touched his lips to hers. No other contact, just the gentle pressure of a sweet kiss. His heart fluttered in his chest and he felt the 'butterflies' again. He resisted the urge to take her in his arms and instead pulled away.

"We should rejoin the others so we can leave," he said softly.

Penny, unable to trust her voice, nodded.

They re-entered the living room to the others playing the game of Jenga that had started earlier. Leonard looked up right as he was moving a piece and twitched when he saw them, which toppled the whole thing over. If he didn't know better he'd say they'd just made out in the bathroom, but they weren't disheveled enough for that.

Then again, Sheldon had an eye for detail and an eidetic memory.

No. Sheldon doesn't kiss people. Least of all Penny. And certainly not in the bathroom.

Raj noticed the very slight glistening of Sheldon's lips again and knew they'd kissed. He was happy for them.

Howard and Bernadette didn't notice anything, as they were still mostly absorbed in each other. A byproduct of marriage.

Penny broke the almost awkward silence. "Allons-y everybody!" Sheldon smiled at her Doctor Who reference and rolled his eyes at her horrible Nebraska accent butchering the phrase.

They filed out the door and piled into Penny's and Raj's cars. Sheldon and Leonard rode with Penny, Sheldon getting shotgun, of course, and Howard and Bernadette rode with Raj.

When they arrived at the club Penny gave them the 'low-down.'

"Ok guys, normally the door price is ten bucks, but if they let any of you in for free don't question it. If they only let some of you in for free but make others pay, don't complain. Just go with it. It happens."

The bouncer stopped them at the door. "You and you," he pointed at Penny and Bernadette "And you." Sheldon was bewildered when the man pointed at him, but took Penny's advice and didn't question it. "The rest, ten bucks." Leonard, Howard, and Raj payed the man and they all entered.

Immediately their senses were assaulted by flashing lights and loud...

"People call this music?" Sheldon shouted over the noise.

Penny grinned. "Yes, Sheldon! It has rhythm, a melody, and best of all - you can dance to it!" She grabbed his arm and dragged him to the dance floor as J-Lo and Pittbull's On The Floor started. "Dance with me, Sheldon!"

"Penny, I don't-" he started, but she interrupted him. "Don't give me that, you danced with Amy. I know you have a sense of rhythm, just...move with the music. Don't worry about everyone around. Pretend like we're the only ones here."

For a moment it looked as if Sheldon had lost himself in his own mind, but he came back and his gaze was more intense than ever. "If we're alone, then I can do this." He grabbed her waist and pulled her roughly against him, took her left hand in his right and whispered in her ear "Follow my lead. It's a salsa."

At the bar, which was the first place Leondard and Raj went, they were on their third shot. Leonard had straight tequila while Raj had a Buttery Nipple. They downed them quickly and slammed the glasses in unison. They turned around and saw Howard and Bernadette awkwardly dancing, but obviously having fun. Then they saw Penny. Dancing with Sheldon. Very intensely. Raj noticed it was a salsa. Leonard noticed Sheldon was actually touching someone - Penny - very intimately. Sheldon's eyes never left Penny's as they danced. It was as if they were the only ones on the dancefloor. Everyone moved to accomodate them. Some even stopped to watch. A pretty girl with mousy brown hair sat next to Leonard and commented "They look great together. I wonder how much they practice."

Leonard looked at the girl and thought _'Eh. Why not? She's cute, and obviously Penny's over me.'_ "Never. As far as I know, this is the first time Sheldon's ever danced with someone who wasn't family." He smiled at her. "My name's Leondard. Can I buy you a drink...?"

"Leah," she smiled back. "Sure."

Raj was on his second grasshopper when the woman of his dreams sat two stools away from him. He scooted closer. "My name is Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali. Can I buy you a drink?"

The woman looked at him with a scared look, but nodded and pointed at his drink. Raj understood and signalled the bartender.

"A grasshopper for the pretty lady."

When she had swallowed half of it in almost one go she said "Thank you Rajesh. I can't talk to men without some form of relaxant in me. My therapist tells me it's an anxiety thing. Selective mutism. My name's Sophia." Raj looked at her in awe. "I also have selectve mutism. Alcohol is the only thing so far that has allowed me to speak to women, but I always make an ass out of myself when I'm drunk. You are very pretty and I like your name. Can I hug you? I bet you smell good."

Sophia laughed. "I like your name too. I'll let you hug me on two conditions. One: no more alcohol, and two: you dance with me." Raj grinned and agreed. She smelled like cherry blossoms.

Sheldon dipped Penny as the song ended. He brought her back up again and she couldn't help herself. She kissed him. Not hard, but not gently either. It was full of passion, and he couldn't hold back anymore. He held her close and kissed her back, pouring all of his emotions into that kiss. He broke the kiss and murmured in her ear "I love you, Penny."

Penny hugged him closer and said "I love you, too, you sexy Whack-a-Doodle."

Sheldon kissed her again, shorter this time, and said "I think the others can find a way home without coming to harm. I would like to go home now." He gave her a significant look and she understood what he was saying.

"I agree."


End file.
